iowahawk: Well, That Didn't Work Out So Great

Iowahawk is at it again! This guy is the absolute best satirist it has been my pleasure to read. Go read the full article and get a change of pants for afterwards.

iowahawk: Well, That Didn't Work Out So Great: "Well, That Didn't Work Out So Great

Iowahawk Guest Commentary
By Kahlid Ahmed, MD
Board Certified Gastroenterologist and former Jihad Associate, al Qaeda UK

Ever have 'one of those days?' Sure, all of us go through the occasional rough patch, but I swear there are times when I think Allah must really have it in for me. I mean, I know the 'Big Guy' is supposed to have a sense of humor, but do I always have to be the punchline?

Take for example this last week. A few mates and I had been planning a big martyrdom weekend for quite a while; it's something we first began discussing a few years ago in medical school back in Amman. We were sitting around the dorm eating pizza, cramming for a big anatomy final, when Ali said 'you know, after graduation, we should get together for something really big.' We talked about a fishing trip to Canada or something, but most of the guys thought that sounded pretty boring. Abdul suggested a golf weekend in Cancun, but the all-inclusives there can get pretty pricey in-season. Hassan (who's really into motorcycles) suggested renting Harleys and going to Sturgis for the Biker Rally, but we heard that crowd can get pretty rowdy.

Anyhoo, Achmed finally says, "how about packing cars with explosives and killing hundreds of random infidels in a coordinated series of gigantic fireballs?" And we're like, fuckin' A! Not only would it be an awesome bonding experience (with plenty of Paradise poontang, LOL), we would be doing a valuable community service. Okay, so we high-fived and made a solemn promise that we'd target two years after graduation for the big weekend prank blowout."