Friday, August 22, 2008

iowahawk: Obama Pix Hipster Prix to Reclick with Stix Hix

When the 'Hawk eventually retires, I might have to give up the Internet. where does he get this stuff?

Make sure you empty your bladder and have throughly wet your whistle before you read this. Accidents happen...

iowahawk: Obama Pix Hipster Prix to Reclick with Stix Hix: "'A lot of the plebe douchebags come in here full of swagger, thinking all it takes is a few hours of FM country music endurance training, and I have to tell them they have no idea what they're up against,' says Ethan Dodge, a Seattle conceptual theater set designer and veteran douchebag of Obama's Iowa caucus campaign. 'Believe me, I've been to Dubuque. I know.'

To toughen up the recruits for the task ahead, Dodge and other drill instructors take a direct approach.

'We tell them straight up: we aren't your mommy or daddy or your au pair. There aren't any independent lesbian film festivals in Youngstown, and just because Iowa has a lot of farmers it doesn't mean they are going to see a lot of Sunday chill-out farmers' markets,' says Voorhees. 'After that shock wears off, we tell them about how the natives drink Pabst unironically.'

'Sure, it scares some recruits off,' admits Dodge. 'But the ones who stay are much less likely to crack under the pressure of a two week isolation from American Apparel or Urban Outfitters.'"

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