iowahawk is still in the running!

iowahawk: "'Hey stupid,' I am often asked, 'what happened to your presidential campaign?'

For your information Mr. / Ms.Smarty Pants, instead of bombarding you with attack ads and TV spin doctors and donation pleas, I've been quietly doing the precise thing a Presidential candidate should do -- working on the issues that matter to snide ingrates like you. Yes, while you were mesmerized by the hubbub and fooferaw of the so-called 'major party' nominating races, I was with my hand-picked 'trailer cabinet' of key policy advisors, putting together our 400-point specific Change Contract For Hopeful American Greatness Renewal. Some of the highlights:

Engagement With Our Adversaries

The world stage is complicated, and America cannot rely solely on military force to guard our national interests. We must never be afraid to meet with our adversaries for frank and open discussions over the issues that divide us. Thats why my first act as President will be to invite Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmedinejad to the White House for a top level negotiation session, without preconditions. 'Mr. President,' I will ask, 'what can we do to persuade your government to curtail its nuclear ambitions?' While he is laying out his terms, I will send the signal to my Vice President / secret button czar Jeff Goldstein, and SPLASH! crazyboy drops right into the Oval Office piranha tank.

Not only will my strategy of open international engagement help to save our over-extended military and cut down on White House piranha food bills, it will act as a deterent to emerging enemies, such as Canada."